I wasn't here

Ever since I discovered
that I don't exist
I have found it easier
to believe in fairy tales
such as
that there is a possibility
we can love each other

and even about that
I'm sceptical
because probably
we're just chemicals.

Ever since I discovered
that the earth is a void
I have found it easier
to believe it's worth
fighting with each other

because what would it matter
you get three score and ten
and then you are dust
everything you built
a pile of mould and rust.

You could let it go
let yourself be bathed
in the evening's soft sweet glow
watch the bats over Samford Road
give up everything
you've ever known

You could just let it flow
dissolve into particles
believing in miracles
watching your children grow.

Ever since I discovered
that I am destined to fail
I have started to want
you to build me a monumnet

and write upon it
that the world turned around
and he didn't care
it span around twenty-five thousand times
and he wasn't there.