your own planet

the poetry of dr zen

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Today I choose you (for Ally)

some days
all I have had to offer have been words
useless and fragile
powerless noises
furious dreams that amount to nothing

but my promises have not been empty
and I told the truth

some days
all I have had to offer have been kisses
whispers and caresses
nothing special
gifts you can get anywhere

but my gestures have not been empty
and I told the truth

some days
all I have had to offer has been love
poorly made and broken
halting and lame
more dream than substance

but my love has not been empty
and I told the truth

today I choose you
not the shadow
not the promise
not an act you might hope to perform
today I choose you
not some other
not something you cannot deliver
not a world that I hope you will build
today I choose you
you and only you and all of you
and I am telling the truth

Friday, September 11, 2015


perhaps you feel
that you cannot be loved

after all
you know yourself
better than they do
and you cannot
will not

perhaps you feel
the stars are just
pinpricks in a night
so dark
it will never be light


but let me tell you buddy
you aren't in fact
a snowflake
you are no less
desirable than the next guy
weird as that may sound

you are capable
of feeling beauty
aren't you?

that's all we take to be beautiful
after all

we only ever see the world
through our own eyes
and the world becomes our mirror

you thought it only worked one way?
you are wrong

you are wrong
in the one way you thought
you could not be


Tuesday, April 7, 2015

yeah whatever

then I realised you did not want a boy to play with
but a glowering Victorian
all morality and tight trousers
because I frown you think I'm forbidding and you like it

but I was thinking it would be fun
if we just weren't who we are all day long
because life is short and you don't get to be
anyone but you anyway

and I realise that was something of a mistake
if I wanted to keep you and you know
keeping someone is not necessarily
what I wanted but
then I realised keeping them seemed better than losing them
and that's why you end up with regrets

and yeah I would like you to know who I am
but just like anyone I've ever met
you want to know I'm who you know I am instead
and I have to want the same thing
if I want women in my bed

and I do

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The possibility of love

I need release
I need my heart to stop beating
I crave your touch
because your touch was fleeting

Do you believe
in the possibility of love
that's lasting
it seems
it dies and all
that's left is pretending

I need a kiss
remind me that I am living
a moment's bliss but
life is unremitting

Have you ever
loved and lost your mind
I have
it was fine

It's like a melody
you heard and then forgot it
but feel it sometimes
lost on a wind
blows up from nowhere
once recognised
it's gone.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


the weather cooled
and all the grass was dewed
in the morning
the sun was shining
life renewed
and I won't cry over you

we only have
one moment
then the next
and then it's gone
and all we had
were years that passed
and tears to smother
the feelings
that couldn't last

we are all
we can change
the rest is a cage
we are all
we have to hold on to
the rest is chains

in the evening
stormclouds gathering
and soon the rain comes
to wash away
our rusted pain
burnt out by the sun
unloved by anyone.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Thin boy

I have a thin boy
until he is overwhelming
I have a beautiful boy

I have a dream
in which we love each other
happy together
I have a beautiful dream

I have a gentle friend
we walk together
we're in clover
I have an imaginary friend

They say
you cannot wrap him up
you cannot bring him up
you have to give him up

They say
you cannot love enough
you cannot give enough
you have to live and learn

I have a thin boy
eats chips and vegemite
he is all right
I have him on my mind.

Three weeks ago

Last week
I heard a man
crying in the night
sighing until daylight

what was the song he was singing
heard for a moment
then it was nothing.

A few months ago
I heard the voice of God
gently said my name
and turned over and went back to sleep
which of us was real
and which the dream.

Three weeks ago
I realised
there is no possibility
of happiness
when you are dead
but even then
you can still hope.